Reincarnation vs. Co-dependancy

[thalia_m]

I was talking to a friend this afternoon and we were discussing my relationship with my husband. She is a retired psychiatric social worker. She knows of my relationship with my husband. In a nutshell, if has been very uphill for close to 25 years now. We are separated, but we live very close to each other, and have no plans to divorce. I can honestly say that it has been a very co-dependent relationship as well as very draining on me.

My friends point is that co-dependent relationships are never good to keep going and she may be correct, but there is something there, that sometimes just never seems to be a true co-dependent relationship. I jokingly said to her that it's not co-dependency, were kindred spirits locked together forever until we finally agree on something.

I remember when I first met him I felt as if it was a relationship that was continuing, picking up where we left off. If one can feel how old your soul is, then I would have to say mine is much older than his. He is basically a child compared to mine.

The issue of the difference of reincarnation and kindred spirits between co-dependency and couples was something that has been on my mind all afternoon. Where do you draw the line on this? Can reincarnation of kindred spirits be compared to co-dependency? Am I just looking for a reason not to consider a divorce? What I do know is even in divorce it would not separate us. We are like two trees twined together and this I feel very strongly.

thalia_m

[harmonythruchaos]

Do not make mistakes by not honoring what the heart feels because u will have regret. But also do not hold on to something that does not want to hold on to you. If what u feel he too feels than u both have to find an understanding of what u mean to each other. More than likely someone needs to except change in order to harbor the presence of another . Not to change who u are but to establish a better understanding of eachothers wants and needs. In doing so, unselfishly, give to them what they need to feel fullfilled. Analyze and practice this change in perceptive action and u will see a diffrence. Sometimes we think me, me, me but a realtionship cannot be founded on "me" but "we".
Men are much more hard headed and don't think as much as woman do . In other words men think logicaly as women think emotionaly. Therefor men are more absorbed into the world around them and women are more absorbed into their feelings.
It's knowing eachothers role and playing by that part which allows for the blossoming of love and relatioship. We most give in order to gain, and if your'e partener does not attempt to give in return, than it most be let go or it will be a burden on ur heart and mind. You can not stop growing or you will be out grown. Love is an instrument that people have forgotten how to play.

[Cecelia]

I don't think co-dependency is necessarily the result of reincarnation. It could be but is not necessarily the case. Many people have co-dependency issues, more than be explained by a mass reincarnation group.

[kaia]

I don't think it necessarily means you were intertwined before, but I suppose that is possible.

As for divorce, if you are happy with your current arrangement, why change it?