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Specific QuestionsAny kind of questions related to your life, personal development or situation that you want to have help with from others. Also, please feel free to help anyone having a question - usually we have all experienced similar things in one form or the other...
How hard is it for you guys to forgive and how does that affect yourself and the relationship you have with that person? I am having a terrible time trying to forgive a good friend of mine. It seems like I have lost all faith in him. How can I get my faith back?
Forgiveness has been the most difficult for me. I still struggle with it from time to time.
Learning to forgive encompasses all I have learnt into one.
I began by first learning that I needed to forgive myself for the harm I (unknowingly at the time), have caused others.
When I realized my own imperfections, I could no longer stand on my soap box and point my finger at another.
Sure, it can still hurt, but I understand that more times than not, if one is aware of the effect one has on others, one would take the greatest of care not to harm another.
I would say put your faith in God, what ever the form you see him/her as, and love your 'good friend' as you would have him love you... This is completely up to you ofcause, it is just away I use to survive the pain of disappointment.
I think it is when we can completely accept our self that we realize there is no difference between one's self and others. It doesn't mean we have to stand there and wait for the next bomb to drop (figuratively speaking), it means to just let go and move on. Had I known the further harm it would cause from holding on to past transgressions, I would have let go in the instant.
I have been told, "it is as great an offence to take offence as it is to give it."
Love and peace, M*
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I'm also having a hard time forgiving and letting go. My boyfriend hurt me several months ago. The details are not important.
Fact is, it is ruining my relationship, because I am bitter and hurt and am having the hardest time moving on. How do I forgive him? Bringing it up just make him defensive. So I'm resolved to dealing with it on my own.
It wasn't a betrayal of trust; it was something else. I just don't know how to let the past go.
Hello Anahi, Why we humans hang on to this pain, I don't fully know. I certainly did my share. I like what metamorphictrance said about regcognizing the oneness and that another's imperfection is our own. When i first heard that 3 fingers pointing back "image", i really got it.
Though it's painful your friend could be a teacher for you. I worked a lot on forgiveness when I took a course called Love Yourself (an oral course from Mexico similar to A Course in Miracles). What I learned and experienced and many others say this – forgiveness is really for us not for the one who we are hurt by.
When we carry the energy of hurt and anger toward them, it does us more harm than them. Our cells and our spirit are awash in a solution tainted with that energy. When we release the painful memory on an emotional level we clear the ”solution”. (Doesn't mean we forget and let it happen again.) So this is easy to say but how to do it…
I was taught that the incident is a mirror, a mirror of a deeper past hurt, and one needs to make their way back to this original hurt and forgive there and all similar hurts will clear – and future similar incidents will be neutralized on up the line. I have done this and it works. It’s called mapping. I would be happy to share the details of the process if you think it might help (or for anyone else, I don't want to load up the thread right now with it as it may not resonate with anyone).
It might be enough to just recognize it is really for you that you forgive.
I have not yet had Deeksha but from what I gather that will really make a difference in how we hold these emotions, actually not hold them.
I hope you come to a good space with this soon.
Namaste, Rainy
__________________ Energy follows thought, we are building a global thought pattern of beauty, unity, peace and love. www.theluminousgarden.com
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I find forgiving others to be easier than forgiving myself. There are times where it is harder to forgive than others, obviously. When a wound not only hurts but betrays our trust, I find that the hardest to get past. Those who are having difficulty forgiving someone in their lives need to remember that there is a difference between forgiving and trusting. You can forgive someone for wounding you but it doesn't mean that you trust them not to do it again. Trust is something that is earned and takes time, especially once it's been damaged.
You can forgive someone for wounding you but it doesn't mean that you trust them not to do it again. Trust is something that is earned and takes time, especially once it's been damaged.
Thank you. This is exactly how I feel I did forgive him. I no longer hold a grudge but everytime I see him and think back I remember and wonder will he do it again. He's a very important person in my life and I know I have done my share of things that hurt him and it would be hypocritical of me not to forgive him. I'm just not sure how I can trust him.
Thank you guys for all your input and help.
I too hang onto hurt for a long time and find it hard to forgive. I am currently trying to learn how to forgive my husband for the hurt he has put me through. If I cannot forgive him, I may have to think about leaving.
I can forgive far easier than I can forget. I had something rather severe happen to me some years ago, and I was able to forgive the individual. Our relationship was ok, we were still able to co-exist.
But I couldn't forget the event and dwelt on it so much that it almost killed me. My life was changed by that event.
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