Guiding Children

[thalia_m]

I've become a serious believer in letting your children make their decision as to what religion they choose. For a majority of my childhood I was brought up in the traditional family religion. In my teen years, I started to explore others, much to the chagrin of my mother. In my early adult life I did change my traditional religion and then changed it again.

My son and I were in a discussion over the weekend about religion. I had him baptized in my second religion and then his Aunt had him conformed in still another religion. He was asking me questions about my current religion and why I had chosen it. I explained to him that the other two religions that I was a part led me back to the roots of religion or spirituality.

He then said that he feels so confused as to what religion he belongs in or to. There I had to feel somewhat guilty. I had never intended for him to feel so confused. I had wanted him to make his own decision, but in baptizing him before he had a say and his Aunt having him confirmed in hers, and then I myself chose something so totally different, that I had just caused another problem.

It's one thing to say that you want your children to make their own decisions, but it's another thing to not talk to them about it, to show them what there is. It's like saying, "Here's a shoe store. Pick a pair and put them on." Now that's assuming that they know what their shoe size is and how to lace them up. Not a great analogy, but I hope you get what I am trying to say.

I just told him that he could start reading about the ones that interested him, rather them jump in with both feet. I would help him with anything that he needed to talk about or ask questions about. BTW, he's 22. I felt good that he could still come to me at that age and talk to me about somethings.

thalia_m

[ShortOfTime]

I have never believed in baptism of a young person. Baptism is something that should never be done until the person is aware of what they are agreeing to-and it should be their decision. That isn't possible for little ones.

I hope that he finds his way.

[Karunakaran]

Dear Thalia
Follow your heart.
Your child is your child. There is a purpose that he or she is born to you.

You as a parent have responsibility to decide on how to guide your child.

Just as you would teach your child on social and moral responsibility. You must teach your child about your religion.

If you as parent decide to baptize your child, this is good. It is good for the the child, since you as the parent decided so.

It is wonderful to read that you are already in discussion with your child about religion and spirituality. Be honest with them if you are unable to answer some of his question. The child will appreciate you. It is in these moments of honesty and appreciation, true learning begins.

Karunakaran

[Anahi]

I completely understand what you mean. I was raised in a catholic house and we have all been baptized from very little. I have a 4 year old and he has yet to be baptized. I just don't know if that's the right thing to do or not. I mean I don't even see my God parents and even though I am baptized I don't practice the religion. I might just let him pick his religion when he's old enough to decide.