Confidence and Bullies

[EarthKind]

For a bully to be successful they have to find a way to hurt you emotionally and/or physically. I recently put an end to a toxic friendship when I finally realised what was happening and found the confidence to stand up for myself.

Can bullies be helped? How can we help them be better people?

[kingskid]

I think that most bullies find self worth by making others feel worthless. If we can help them as individuals to see that their worth is not based upon their comparison to others but comes from within, we can help them find peace.

[tomkin]

There are many "bullies" online or offline that do end up feeling better about themselves by doing what we see and hear about so much. Remember though there are also many that do not want help.

[paradigmshift]

I would imagine hypothetically we would best start by making sure each person brought into being isn't allowed to think they need to compete for attention or love and are shown they are worthy as they are and we'd have an end to bullying. As stated though many people who are bullies are very deep into the pattern and may not want help or be able to realize how to get out.

[WhatComesAround]

We can only help to make sure there is no competition for love and attention with those that are in our own family-we cannot help others in this way and so I'm not sure it could help on a larger scale.

[Narnia]

Those who allow themselves to be bullied require help too. There's a whole relationship going on between a bully and the person being bullied (disregard muggings and sudden, one-off crime).

[EarthKind]

I disagree with making the victim take some of the blame. They may simply be a meek person who happens to have a handicap-why should they be made to feel that they are at fault for the way they are?

[Narnia]

No, no, no, they are not at fault - of course not, but they too need help in building their confidence and self-esteem so that they can stop being bullied. It's the same with abuse (domestic violence).

[BookWorm]

Domestic violence is a whole other story, more extreme than the average bullying victim could ever have nightmares about. The wearing down process is so much more extreme I think, and yet, there really might be some kind of mindset involved that makes one vulnerable to it.

[Narnia]

I believe there is. I am a small person, yet I have never been bullied, not at school or ever. That does not mean there was no bullying going on (in fact I've "fought" many a battle for those being bullied) but I find the thought/concept of my being bullied laughable and it's exactly what I do whenever someone tries to intimidate /bully me - I laugh at the ridiculousness of it. Now I'm not talking about me but rather trying to express a frame of mind.