By Krishnaraj
Dasaji – a Dasa (Guide) from
Golden City, South India
When having relationship
problems, you need to actually
start opening up to yourself,
because there is a very major
part of ourselves that we're not
aware of. What we have failed to
see about ourselves is a major
portion of our lives, and that
has to be unveiled and has to be
experienced.
Amma Bhagavan's grace will
help you unveil it and help you
experience it.
People also must know that
they're not being subjected to a
punishment or some kind of
mental torture. It is more like
a healing process to help them.
This knowledge can help you to
actually experience the whole
process without resisting or
fighting it.
Every time you go through a
relationship problem, you
actually get to see more of
yourself. It's not that you're
getting to see something about
the other person, you're only
getting to see that side of you
that is hurt, that which wants
love, which wants attention,
which cannot forgive, which is
not accepted, which feels
rejected. It is these things
that you are getting to see
about yourself when going
through a relationship problem.
It is something that you have
to process through, otherwise
how long can this be kept swept
under the carpet--how long can
this be suppressed? You have to
let Divine Grace put you through
this.
Please know full well that
you are not being judged or
condemned by the Divine when
you're being put through such a
process. You are only being
helped. This is a healing
process to help you grow in
relationship with the Divine,
and grow in love and joy.
As you start accepting all
this within yourself, you are
truly finally accepting the
other person also. All of us
tend to think that talking with
the other person, or reasoning
with them, or applying some
principle is going to help us.
That is not the truth. You can
only know and accept the
resistance you have to that
relationship.
When you say you have a
relationship problem, please
understand that you are not
having a problem with the
relationship or the other
person; you are only having a
problem within yourself. You are
only having a problem accepting
all this reality about
yourself--that you may be a
person who craves attention, who
has still not forgiven, who
feels guilty about your past, or
who is unable to stop hating
someone, etc.
The other person is
immaterial, and who he or she is
isn't what is making you
uncomfortable. How you
experience him or her within you
is the cause of your
relationship problem. And that
is what has to be experienced.
So in every crisis you are only
getting to see more of yourself.
It has nothing to do with the
other person.
As you start facing the truth
of your own resistance, it
starts the melting of it under
the heat of your awareness.
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