The Jim Rome Show: Encyclopedia II - The Jim Rome Show - The Clones

The Jim Rome Show - The Clones

The "Clones" are what Rome calls the listeners of the show. Their devotion to Rome along with their use of "smack" makes them different from normal people, but all the same as each other. Unfortunately, callers often only reiterate Rome's exact take on an issue. During the day, Rome saves the recordings of the best calls in the rack (with the term "rack him" or "rack her" after a call, as a signal to the audience that he enjoyed the caller's take). At the end of the show, The Huge Call of the Day (the best call in Rome's opinion) is replayed with much fanfare. Sometimes a Huge Call from a previous show or a notable call from a past Smack-Off will be replayed if no callers' takes got racked.

Rome generally lets callers have free rein while on the phone with them, interrupting takes only to respond to greetings and questions. However, he is notorious for hanging up on callers who perform poorly in the middle of their takes; these calls are "run" with a loud buzzer and immediately ceased. Usually the caller will be subject to ridicule from Rome and the Clones. Callers are often run when they are unenthusiastic, incoherent, obviously reading their takes, or after saying something offensive. It should be noted that Rome does not run the calls himself, but leaves the task to the show engineer, Alvin. Occasionally, Alvin will run a call even if Rome does not agree. Rome lets the caller know that it was Alvin responsible. Sometimes a call will be cut off without the buzzer if Rome wants to comment, or if there is a time constraint for a scheduled ad break, or if a call from a noteworthy Clone can be squeezed in before an ad break.

It is not uncommon for callers to be on hold for long periods of time, upwards of two hours, before they make it on air. While the callers are expected to be patient and prepared when their turn comes up (sometimes unexpectedly), Rome has no patience if they are not. Due to a seven-second delay, the callers must listen to the show through their phone with their radio turned off. Otherwise, when Rome puts them on-air, they will miss their cue, and be subject to ridicule. Rome often comments on how if he can hear his voice through the phone (due to the delay), the caller is not paying attention. In addition, if callers complain about how long they have been on hold, Rome normally hangs up on them, and ridicules them for wasting all that time.

Although the enforcement in recent times has been lenient, Rome has a rule against callers stating their names after Rome has already mentioned them. Whenever Rome goes to callers, he announces their names and where they are from. If callers start their calls by repeating that very information (their names and where they are from), Rome will immediately run the calls and ridicule the callers for telling him something he and the listeners already know.

Rome also has an unofficial ban against callers singing (whether actual songs or poorly written parodies), with only a couple designated exceptions. Usually callers who attempt to sing have no business doing so. One exception to this rule (with disastrous results) came after Smack-Off 2005, when callers made pitiful attempts to complete Terrence in Sierra Madre's song, "Hey, Mister J-Stew." See also the reference to Willie in KC below.

Basically, Rome has one simple rule for clones calling in or e-mailing the show: "Have a take, don't suck." This rule is repeated at the beginning of every show.

The Jim Rome Show - Well-Known Callers

There are a number of callers who have made their mark in the Jungle, both from the Clones and from the sports world. Some of the most well-known of these callers include:

• Dan in D.C.- Dan is best known for winning 7 straight Huge Calls, which is still a Jungle record. Most Clones thought he should have won the 2000 Smack-Off but lost because D.C. was not a three-hour affiliate. Rome's comment was "Dan, bang your monkey, it cost you the title." He is best known for his Bison Dele take and his Dikembe Mutombo impression: "Who wants to sex Mutombo!" After the 2003 Smack-Off, Rome offered him a position on his staff with Travis and Jason. Dan only worked there for a short time and has not called the show since it was taken off the air in D.C. Dan currently hosts a sports radio program in the D.C. area and writes an online column[1]

• Golfer Steve Elkington - One of Jim's favorite callers, who drops in often and shares stories from his experiences on the PGA Tour. These stories include tales about fellow golfer Colin Montgomerie's "sweaty undies," about him and his friends getting "loaded up on froth and bubbles," saying that he "sees cat, mate" , or simply stating he "likes to drink and fight." When Rome played a portion of John Daly's country album, Elkington remarked "you must be pulling my sausage, mate." Other resets are from when he killed a deer from a friend's living room, and his encounter with a profanity-spewing Tommy Smothers.

• Jeff in Richmond - A frequent caller and winner of the 2002 Smack-Off, Jeff has been ridiculed by many other listeners for his deep southern accent, staunchly conservative political views, his tendency to yell into the phone, his embrace of NASCAR before it was mainstream, and putative status as a stereotypical redneck. Jeff has claimed to be "born and bred for success and achievement," and to have an "Armani suit," "a luxury sled," and a "countryside estate" in the "Commonwealth of Virginia." He also seems to have a fixation on his "good friend and colleague" Bob Costas, after Costas mentioned him by name during an interview. Also, "left-fringe" (liberal) clones, such as Trapper in Dana Point, are a frequent target for his abuse. Unbothered by his many critics, Jeff continues to call the program, beginning his call with a "Thanks for the vine, thanks for the time," and ending his calls with a loud "GOOD NIGHT NOW!"

• Rich in Indy - In September 2005 he made the best "short call" to the jungle with his reference to a Dallas Cowboys meltdown: "as predictable as a scripted Joey in New Bedford or Jay in Providence phone call." He was subsequently racked. It is rumored that Rich may be a hack on the fourth floor at Premiere or J-Stew himself.

• Joey in New Bedford - On October 27, 2005 he came into the Jungle with a new word, "recepted," believed to be a hybrid of "received" and "accepted." Rome interrupted the call after five minutes of Joey's rants and said he finally "came to" after hearing Joey's language. Although Jim insisted that "recepted" is not an actual word, some have speculated that it may be either some form of Cape Verdean slang or simply a New England or "Chowd" affectation. During Rome's recap, he glossed Joey as a legend and hall of famer. Joey is also an administrator at Stucknut.com where he has his own bowling forum.

Rome appreciates good calls on his show, but often he will receive a call that is less than acceptable. The really terrible calls will live on in their own infamy, and listeners will reference those calls for years to come. Some of these calls included:

• Jeff in C-Bus - Early in the show on November 18, 2005, on his way to the Michigan vs. Ohio State football game, Jeff (a former Smack-Off contestant) envisioned that Ohio State would easily win the contest, but predicted a final score of 27-27. This was believed to be a slip of the tongue, but Jeff (and Ohio State) became the butt of numerous jokes throughout the rest of that day's show. The Buckeyes got the last laugh, however, as they defeated Michigan 25-21. The following Monday, Jeff called back and claimed that he purposely made the strange call to draw attention from the game itself, intending to make the Clones smack him instead of Ohio State. Despite this, Jeff is still the butt of numerous jokes by the Clones.

• Patty in Modesto - Tried to call the show, but was too inebriated to have an intelligent conversation.

• Alex in Louisville - Called in to congratulate Rome on a great interview with NFL player Deion Branch not knowing that the interview had not yet taken place. Rome, knowing it was still an hour away, first asked him if he had heard the interview, and Alex replied "absolutely." After Rome asked him what he liked best about the interview, Alex waffled through excuses.

• Willie in K.C. - A regular caller who often broke into song parodies during his calls; was permanently banned from the show after one of his calls contained obvious and crude anti-Semitic references. As soon as he was cut off, the tone in Rome's voice was obviously angry, which continued through the segment, even after a rebound call from Silk in Huntington Beach. Silk, who has unfairly been called a racist as a running gag on the show, started his call this day pleading that it was Willie, not himself, that made the references. Willie's call became the topic of the show, with other clones, including Jeff in Phoenix, and e-mail legend Dark Gable denouncing him. In 2004, Willie attempted to be reinstated to the Jungle by calling the show to apologize for making the offensive remarks. As soon as he completed his short apology (which was considered contrived by many listening that day) he attempted to stage one of his calls, at which time Rome cut him off. Rome allowed the remainder of the day's callers and e-mailers to vote on the matter, and the decision was made to uphold the ban.

• Bill in Syracuse - After Rome made a sarcastic remark about how he would love to have a daughter enter the porn industry, Bill in Syracuse called to chastise Rome, believing him to be serious.

• Fabian - Often referred to as "Flamian" because he promised to have an epic phone call, only to almost immediately "flame out" in spectacular fashion. He was unable to make it through his first sentence without stumbling over his words and asking for a do-over.

• Jim in Fall River - During one of his calls, Jim in Fall River became extremely animated and agitated, to the point of actually shouting out his call. In the background, Rome heard what he thought was the sound of an animal, possibly a donkey braying. Despite Rome's effort to get the caller's attention, he continued to shout his take and the animal sound persisted. Since then, Jim in Fall River has been associated with bestiality.

• "Smack Attack" in Wisconsin - This caller was on hold for over an hour and when his turn finally came up to speak with Rome, he yelled into the phone, "AAAHHHHH...my phone bill!" then hung up. The call was mostly remembered because Rome blames that incident for some of his hearing loss.

• Iggy in Springfield - He called the program and greeted Rome before starting a prerecorded tape of his take. The sound of a tape player being turned on was clearly audible, as well as the significant difference in sound quality, monotone voice, and another greeting. Rome quickly called Iggy's bluff by asking him a question, which of course was not answered by a recording. In (dis)honor of Iggy, callers occasionally announce the local time before starting their take to prove it is not prerecorded.

• Pancho and Tyrone - During one call-in session, Rome took a call from a caller who claimed his name was Pancho, and that he was an African American. Rome doubted this, but let the caller go through. A few minutes later, another caller got through the call screener, saying, in a stereotypical Spanish accent, "Jim, eff he can be Pancho, why can't I be Tyrone?" This is often cited as an example of a caller fooling the phone screener.

• Will - After a monotonous laundry list of insipidly obvious observations, Rome ran this caller simply for his inability to come up with a single original thought. Subsequent callers who show little or no originality are frequently run, and subject to ridicule and comparison to Will.

• Jockey Stewart Elliott - Rome interviewed Elliott by phone, following his unsuccessful bid to ride Smarty Jones to a win at the 2004 Belmont and thus the Triple Crown. The anticipated interview turned unforgettably dull when Rome fielded a question regarding the horse's attitude of being a champion. Rome expected it to be a segue for Elliott to elaborate, but instead, he simply answered, "that's right" and dead air followed. Jokes by listeners since then suggest it would have been more interesting to have interviewed the horse.

• Rachel in Houston - One of the Jungle's few regular female callers, Rachel is a polarizing figure who is either revered or despised by the Clones.

• Tim in Bend - In December 2004 he stopped the show with two epic cracks in a brief call to Jim. His sarcastic thank you to Jim for an interview he did not have on the show, and subsequent Drew Brees Mole Blast were enough to send Jim on a six minute rant.

• Guy Who Had to Eat Lunch with His Wife - During the summer of 2005, a caller told call screener Jason Stewart that he had to get on the show because he had to eat lunch with his wife. Jim led into the call saying that if a clone needed to eat lunch with his wife, that Jim would have his back. Before the caller could even begin his call, Jim ran the caller, saying "with that kind of lead in, why would you even stay on the line? You might as well hang up and bail out and avoid ridicule."

• T.J. in Jacksonville - During a fall 2005 call, T.J. laughed at his own joke, with a creepy-sounding "HEH-heh-huh-HEH-huh!" It became known in the Jungle as "The Laugh." If it is ever mentioned in a call or e-mail, or if someone's attempt at humor falls flat, Rome will usually offer sarcastic comments about whether the line in question was actually funny and playing "The Laugh" after each one. This usually leads into Rome acting as though T.J. is in the studio with him, mocking "The Laugh" and telling him to stop laughing while playing "The Laugh" after each sentence that comes out of his mouth.

The Jim Rome Show - E-Mails

Rome reads as many e-mails as he can on the show. Some e-mails are simple acknowledgements of satisfaction about the show or comments on interviews. However, many e-mailers write their messages in the voice of famous athletes or public figures, responding with a comment that reflects one of that person's most embarrassing public moments. These particular e-mails almost always relate to whatever topic(s) were just discussed on the show, usually in a sarcastic and/or ironic fashion. Such e-mail references often include:

• Steve Francis: As the Orlando Magic were struggling, Francis called them "the worst team since sliced bread" which induced a number of "[worst object] since sliced bread" e-mails.

• Kenyon Martin: "My kidney! My kidney!" - Said by Martin as a joke during a Nets game, when teammate Alonzo Mourning complained of fatigue. Mourning had returned to the NBA after kidney replacement surgery.

• Dexter Manley: Ridiculing based on Manley's claim that he was able to graduate college while being functionally illiterate.

• Al Martin: Martin claimed he played college football and appeared in the Rose Bowl. However, he never played college football during the time when his college appeared in the Rose Bowl. Martin also takes some grief for simultaneously having two wives in different parts of the country.

• Tim Johnson: The former Blue Jays manager told his players stories about his experiences in the Vietnam War, despite having never fought in the war.

• Margot Kidder: Kidder at one time suffered from mental illness. On April 23, 1996, Kidder was found incoherent, lying on a woodpile in the back yard of a Glendale home, with her dental plate missing. She was subsequently admitted into a mental hospital.

• Patrick Ewing: "We make a lot of money, but we spend a lot of money." - A famous comment by the former Knicks center during the 1998 NBA lockout, arguing that the players should not make any concessions regarding salary rollbacks.

• Billy Hunter: "On a scale of one to ten, it's about a 60 or a 65." - A comment Hunter made on the show during an interview regarding the separation between the owners and players of the NBA during the drafting of a new labor agreement between the two.

• The Chick from Rome's Christmas Party & Rome's Sister's Cat are referred to often by e-mailers. The first is because of an encounter Rome had with a woman whose desire was to enter the adult entertainment industry. However, according to Rome, unsuccessful entertainers do not strive to be in porn, they "end up in porn." The second is because of an accident (apparently true) that Rome's sister had with her pet cat. Rome makes an effort to keep the actual identities of the woman and his sister secret, which keeps the jokes alive.

• Steve Garvey: Garvey, the former MLB player, once said in an interview that he enjoys "pumping chicks."

• Wade Boggs: References to heavy alcohol consumption. In 1996, the former MLB player was involved in a lawsuit where he was charged with becoming intoxicated and verbally abusing a flight attendant when she refused to serve him "another beer" during the plane's final descent. Boggs was eventually cleared.

• Darva Conger: References to someone in the media spotlight wanting to be left alone. Conger made a name for herself by appearing in several reality shows, posing in Playboy, and doing everything it seemed that she could to not be out of the spotlight. Listeners always finish their e-mails from her by quoting her now-famous line "I just want my life back."

• Michael Jackson: Generally referred to as "Wacko Jacko" by e-mailers and by Rome, pop singer Michael Jackson is the victim of constant ridicule on the show.

• Qualifications: Began by e-mailer Dave in St. Louis and his use of "Non-Hunter" (a veiled reference to a press release by PETA that suggested male hunters have small genetalia), many clones will qualify themselves at the end of an email. Examples of qualifications would include: stating one's sexual prefence, ethnicity, and marrital status.

• Al Gore: The former V.P. and Presidential candidate is often referenced by e-mailers stemming from his misunderstood and exaggerated claims to have invented the Internet. E-mailers mock Gore by attributing a long list of inventions to him.

• Spitting on Monitors: A large portion of the audience is listening from work, and presumably sitting in front of a computer either in their office or cubicle. Whenever Rome gives an extremely funny take, many e-mailers claim they laughed so hard they spit coffee or soda all over their monitor or keyboard, some jokingly suggesting that it is now ruined.

• Bad Spelling: Rome likes to ridicule e-mailers for poor spelling and grammar. While he understands that most e-mails are not proofread, he will often mention extremely bad cases on-air, such as when an e-mailer spelled Kobe Bryant's name "Kolby" and another referred to the petals of a car instead of the pedals, prompting Rome to wonder why people's feet would be pushing on a flower.

• Isolated Incidents and other favorites - Literally dozens of celebrities and sports figures have had isolated embarrassing episodes or have experienced odd circumstances. Most are forgotten within months, but Rome's e-mailers have a knack for refreshing everyone's memory. Such references include Jayson Williams, Najeh Davenport, Al Unser, Jr., Gene Siskel, Andruw Jones, Ted Williams, John Rocker, Bill Gramatica, Anna Kournikova, Siegfried & Roy, Milli Vanilli, Jared from Subway, The Runaway Bride, the fathers of Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan, Matthew Lesko (infomercial guy with the question mark suit), open-faced roast beef sandwiches, the Shocker, the French yelling "We surrender!", the 2002 MLB All Star Game, the NCAA Tournament Play-In game, the 2003 Florida Gators media guide that mistakenly had a photograph of a crocodile on the cover, the seemingly ever-changing name of the Anaheim Angels, and the questionable sexuality of Peppermint Patty & Marcie or Bert & Ernie.

• Travis Rodgers' List - Travis Rodgers, who produces the show and screens over 2000 e-mails each day, has a preferrential list of topics which increase the chance that the e-mail will be read on-air. Topics include WWII, the word "unsavory," Bo Diaz, Jewel, Yoko Ono, John Cook, Billy Martin, Rick James, Mama Cass, Appalachia, JFK Jr, man-perms, adults who still live in their parents' basement, Billy & Benny McCrary (the fat twins from the Guinness Book of World Records), his neighbor with the hot tub in his front yard, asking Rome about cell phones or PDAs, haikus, and personified obscure objects, to name a few. Travis also likes messages from people with clever, Jungle-related e-mail adresses.

Adapted from the Wikipedia article "The Clones", under the G.N U Free Docmentation License. Please also see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki