The Wack Pack: Encyclopedia II - The Wack Pack

Attended the Connecticut School of Broadcasting, now works for the telephone company. A New York Giants fan. He once fought Crazy Cabbie in a three-round boxing match, losing unanimously.

The Wack Pack - Blue Iris

Does "granny porn", and guest-hosted the Howard 100 program Tissue Time with Heidi Cortez.

The Wack Pack - Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice (born June 2, 1968 in Browns Mills, New Jersey) is the stage name of Lester Green. He suffers from microcephaly, an abnormally small head and brain. In his case, this is accompanied by mental retardation and small stature (4' 3"), though he does not have the disproportionate limb size associated with dwarfism. The name Beetlejuice comes from a scene in the movie Beetlejuice in which a dead person in the afterlife had a shrunken head. Green had a running bitter feud with Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, but cried profusely upon learning of his death, calling him "my friend."

Green is best known for his appearances on The Howard Stern Show and is arguably the most popular member of The Wack Pack. He has appeared in films, including Scary Movie 2 and Bubble Boy, and provided guest vocals on Smut Peddlers album, Porn Again. He wrote the lyrics and performed the songs This is Beetle and I Don't Know, with Stern Show staff member Richard Christy, who provided the music and production. Staind and Blues Traveler have both covered Green's songs. Staind plans to include their version on their next album which can be found at [1].

Microcephalics, also known by the offensive pejorative "pinheads", have been featured in movies as early as 1932 (See: Freaks).

The Wack Pack - Bong Hit Eric

Independently wealthy and with time on his hands, he calls into the show to discuss current events or congratulate Howard for something. Then he takes a bong hit on the air.

The Wack Pack - Captain Janks

Thomas Cipriano, better known as Captain Janks, is notorious for prank calling publicly aired radio and television programs, especially in times of crises. Cipriano takes his nickname from the actual rank and name of his commanding officer in the U.S. Army. He first appeared when Howard began syndicating to Philadelphia, where he would call Stern's competition, local morning man Debella. Janks would send in tapes to the Stern show of him telling Debella that he was bald.

A transcript of a sample pranked newscast from July 30th 2002 follows. Note how Janks leaves the most offensive part of a sentence right toward the end; this is because his calls are normally disconnected within a second or two of the most offensive word.

Funny or not, Janks had been pranking newscasts for over 15 years when the above call was made; the mere fact that he remains able to get onto the air is erosive of the credibility of television news. Janks has explained that he's called newsrooms, given a fake name and position, and been asked to provide a call-back number with a completely incompatible area code - but that, incredibly, the newsroom still calls him back when they're ready to put him on the air. (As with the above transcript, if the station had asked him to provide a call-back number, they should have been suspicious of a Maryland police official having a Pennsylvania area code.) Furthermore, the fact that Janks was able to make three sexually explicit Howard Stern references on the air proves that no one working on that newscast was actually listening to what they were broadcasting.

Cipriano dated the ex-wife of Philadelphia disc jockey John DeBella shortly before her suicide. Cipriano currently works as an attendant at a gasoline station in North Wales, PA.

The Wack Pack - Celeste

Celeste (born 1982) is known for making her "one of a kind" videos in Philadelphia, PA. She has been a fan of Howard Stern since she was eight years old which may explain why she films Philadelphia's Finest Homeless, Retards, and Idiots. Celeste's favorite Wack Pack member is Beetlejuice.

The Wack Pack - Cliff Palate

Cliff Palate (also known as Lispy Lynn to North Texas listeners) is a Stern Show Wack Packer who is the most difficult to understand audibly. Born with a cleft palate, which was not surgically corrected as a child, Palate has problems finding employment and is on SSI. He lives at home with his mother, much like Jeff the Drunk Currow.

The Wack Pack - Crackhead Bob

George Harvey, a former crack cocaine addict whose right-side of his body is paralyzed due to a stroke from abusing the drug, is known to fans as Crackhead Bob. Harvey was a frequent guest on Stern's radio show and is considered a member of The Wack Pack. In the summer of 2001 Harvey retired from the Howard Stern Show and went on to make anti-drug commericals discussing the dangers of drugs. He returned to the show on October 18, 2005 after a four year absence and was at Stern's side for his last day on terrestrial radio on December 16, 2005.

The Wack Pack - Crazy Alice

Born in Alabama, Crazy Alice is half Italian, half African-American, and she readily admits to hating black people. She was discovered by the show when she called in from her home in California, after which she flew to New York to appear live in Stern's studio.

She is best known for the African-American stereotype of filibustering during arguments (as can also be heard in the Touch-Tone Terrorists), wild mood swings, and starting to go into long and instant screaming rants when merely called Crazy Alice. As a result, she no longer voluntarily appears on the show, although Stern staff and fans sometimes call her and merely say "Crazy Alice" in order to trigger and record one of her rants.

In one especially funny Touch-Tone Terrorists crank call, Junkyard Willie and Crazy Alice attempt to out-filibuster each other.

During her long-winded rants, it is common for Stern to turn down the send from his microphone to the phone patch; in this way, she will believe they are listening to her intently while Stern and others in the studio may discuss her lunacy or even place bets on how long a given rant will continue.

The Wack Pack - Daniel Carver

Daniel Carver (born 1948) lives in Oakwood, Georgia, is a Kleagle of the Ku Klux Klan, a former infantryman during the Vietnam War, and a frequent guest on the Howard Stern Radio Show. He has also appeared on Stern's TV syndicated television show and Butt Bongo Fiesta, as well as a guest appearance on the Phil Donahue Show.

Carver is well known for his white supremacist views. While he appears to take himself seriously, Carver is used by Stern as the butt of jokes, which he appears to willingly play along. Carver considers Jews (whom he calls "the devil") to be the lowest form of human existence, followed by homosexuals, then blacks (whom he refers to as "animals"), then Mexicans (usually prefaced with the term "filthy").

Carver used to review movies on the Stern Show by rating each film with a burning cross. A Thursday morning regular feature, Stern would assign a movie for Carver to see that week. For comedic effect, there were a disproportionate number of Spike Lee and other black-themed movies. When it was time for Carver to review, a cheery country music-themed bumper, replete with the sounds of chickens clucking, was played:

Daniel would then review the movie, paying absolutely no attention to the content or quality of the film but to the minorities in the movie. Howard and Robin would ask him questions to incite tirades of racial stereotypes, or allow telephone callers to abuse Carver on the air. Carver seemed to be oblivious to the fact that his only purpose was to be the butt of jokes.

In 2003 Carver won $20,000 in a Stern Show-sponsored football contest, where he competed against Artie Lange, Gary the Retard, and Sanders the chicken. In 2005, Carver won $10,000 more from the Stern Show participating in a game called Wack Pack Family Feud. Carver and his family beat out Wendy the Retard and her family for the prize.

Otherwise, Carver does odd jobs. On September 11, 2001 he was roofing. He also sells hateful knick-knacks from a post office box in Oakwood, Georgia.

The Wack Pack - Dan The Farter

The Wack Pack - Dan The Song Parody Man

Dan The Song Parody Man is responsible for many of the song parodies heard on the show, including several of the now-classic Pat O'Brien songs.

The Wack Pack - Debbie The Queafer

Debbie The Queaf is capable of passing vaginal gas on command. She was on the air the first day Howard 100 was broadcasting.

The Wack Pack - Double A

Double A's name is derived from his wrestling stage name, Awesome Angelo. He is best known for his intense crush on Stern's girlfriend Beth Ostrosky and his obsession with all things relating to Stern and wrestling. He has a tattoo of Stern's face on his forearm, and regularly wears wrestling belt replicas. His phone calls to the show invariably begin with him saying "Hey Howard, how's it goin', what's goin' on?" in his mush-mouthed accent.

The Wack Pack - Elephant Boy

Fred "Elephant Boy" Schieber is best known for his severe speech impediment, poor personal hygiene, and his homosexual experimentation. Schieber works as an accountant in New York City. In September 2005, he soiled himself while on a train to a public appearance with High Pitch Eric and Gary Dell'Abate. Rather than return home, he cleaned up as best he could in a restroom and showed up at the appearance, reeking of excrement.

The Wack Pack - Elliot Offen

One of the older members of The Wack Pack, "Elegant" Elliot Offen is a flamboyant drag queen. Offen will appear on the show yelling about his "healthy lifestyle", which consists of eating only raw fruits and vegetables and running 20 miles a day in women's lingerie. Whether or not Offen sticks to the diet is a mystery because he doesn't appear healthy for someone who runs 20 miles a day.

Due to the fact that he wears women's clothing, it is believed that Offen is a homosexual. To disclaim these allegations, Offen has gone to the measure of coming to the show ranting that he is a heterosexual and hiring actresses to act as his girlfriend. Stern discovered that Offen had hired a woman to pose as his girlfriend when he was forcing them to kiss.

He recently starred in a degredation video with a dominatrix. Also, he has recently begun using the word "right" to punctuate what he is saying, similar to 1920's-era mobsters; he is also fond of using large words and scientific terms, mispronouncing them and using them incorrectly and in non-sensical ways.

A few quotes: "...and before we disembody him, what we have to do with the terrorist, we have to give him, some intravenous, medication, electric shock treatment, solitary confinement, and death by torture instantaneously" and "Just because you have a malignant, and metastasizing tumor in parasagatese part of your brain, thats no reason to condemn Elliot Offen!"

In December of 2005, while being interviewed by Howard 100 News, he exited a taxi without checking for traffic. The door was torn off the taxicab. He has also been evicted from his apartment for non-payment of rent, charged with assault, and is currently (December 2005) in litigation for careless driving in New Jersey.

The Wack Pack - Eric the Midget

Eric "The Midget" Lynch is a frequent caller of the Howard Stern Radio Show, often complaining about Stern's attitude toward female pop artists and the fact that they call him a "midget." Lynch is well known for his obsession with American Idol winners Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood which spawned a frequently played prank phone call by High Pitch Eric where he called Lynch pretending to be "Kelly Clarkson".

Stern helped Lynch land a guest starring role on his favorite television show, American Dreams, but is still ungrateful. Lynch's phone calls to the show are often incoherent because of his small lungs which prevent him from completing a sentence without taking 4 or 5 breaths.

The Wack Pack - Evil Dave Letterman

Known on the air as "Evil Dave", an excellent David Letterman voice impersonator who occasionally sits in the studio and makes off-color comments during the show. Typically, the comments are sexist, sexual or racist in nature, often making reference to Letterman's show or cast.

The Wack Pack - Fake Arnold

Josh Thompson impersonates Arnold Schwarzenegger. After the real Schwarzenegger was elected, Evil Arnold called into the show and suggested a national priority be placed on blowing up the moon, since it regulates female menstrual cycles and is therefore responsible for making them "bitchy". At least one news organization, Joe Scarborough of MSNBC reported it without knowing it was a gag and an impersonator. On Jan 10 2006, Fake Arnold had a 15 minute conversation about gay marriage with George Takei who was completely fooled. And on the next day they did the same thing again telling him that the REAL Arnold heard about the show and wanted to call in. George Takei talked with him and was tricked once again.

The Wack Pack - Gary the Retard

Gary The Retard (born 1952 in Albany, Oregon) is a frequent guest on The Howard Stern Radio Show. He suffers from mental retardation and lives at home with his mother. His toothless grin, thick glasses and cheerful attitude make him a favorite among listeners. On August 12, 1998 he was scheduled to appear on the show but got lost at the airport. A listener who worked at the airport eventually found him and called the show. It is noted that he is an avid Seattle Seahawks fan.

The Wack Pack - High Pitch Eric

Erik Bleaman, better known as High Pitch Eric, lives in Forest Hills, Queens, is a frequent guest on the Howard Stern Radio Show and a prominent member of The Wack Pack. Bleaman received the name High Pitch because of his natural falsetto speaking voice, which he uses for comedic effect, including prank calls for the show. Often ridiculed for his obesity, Bleaman put his size to work and won a role in The World's First 300lb. Gang Bang, a pornographic film in which all the male participants weighed in excess of 300 pounds. While appearing in another porno, Dynamite's 21st Birthday Gangbang, Bleaman had difficulty achieving an erection. He suffers from hyperhidrosis, poor eyesight, hypertension and frequent toe infections.

A truly odious human being who could have easily become a Wack Pack member even if his voice were normal, Bleaman is currently unemployed after being fired from various menial jobs (most recently from a Toyota Dealership in Manhattan). He used to work as a baggage handler at John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York, but was fired after calling in a fake bomb threat to the radio station that originated the Opie and Anthony Radio Show. Bleaman has also worked in an office mail room and a concession stand in Madison Square Gardens.

Memorable on-air moments with Bleaman have revolved around his numerous money problems. According to accounts given by himself and Stern on the show, he has a problem paying off debts. Bleaman has been confronted on the show numerous times about several instances where he has ripped people off (both inside and outside the Stern universe) using fake credit cards, bad checks and invoking Stern's name in order to obtain free food or services. Several victims of Bleaman's schemes have hinted at possible legal action pending against him, including a limo driver (a $2000 round-trip limo ride from Queens, New York to Boston paid with a phony credit card) and a nightclub owner (a $600 Thanksgiving dinner paid with a bad check). Stern's crew have threatened to call Bleaman's father if he doesn't make good on the debts.

In October 2005, Bleaman appeared on one of Stern's Sirius radio channels, for a 24-hour period, to measure the amount of feces he produced. The food he requested included a bucket of KFC chicken, two large orders of mashed potatoes with sour cream and butter, biscuits with butter, Snickers bars, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, a dozen Taco Bell double tacos with extra cheese and guacamole, two Mexican pizzas with the works, thirty White Castle hamburgers, six orders of fried mozzarella sticks, two foot-long tuna Subway subs with extra mayo, three two-liter bottles of Coke and a bottomless pot of coffee to be used as a laxative in case he got backed up. Stern and his crew wagered money on various aspects of the venture, including total weight of the movements, time of the movements, number of defecations, etc.

Released on January 1 2006, Bleaman starred as Dr. Hetero in Supertwink. Richard Roeper reviewed the film and called Bleaman the worst actor in the history of motion pictures. (Roger Ebert refused to review the film.)

Bleaman is afraid of dead fish, a phobia revealed in 2002 when he requested to spin the Wheel of Sex (similar to the wheel in Wheel of Fortune except instead of prizes, it randomly selects a sexual act) to win an Xbox. When the Wheel of Sex stopped on a segment indicating he was to be spanked with a cod, Bleaman became hysterical. The Eric Hates Dead Fish segment was one of the most popular moments in the Howard Stern Radio Show, climaxed by show producer KC Armstrong chasing a screaming and crying Bleaman around the radio station with a dead fish.

The Wack Pack - Jeff the Drunk

Jeff Curro, better known as Jeff "The Drunk" Curro, is a well known member of The Wack Pack. He currently lives in a trailer outside Albany, New York with his mother. Curro does not work regularly except for seasonal work stamping hands at a local swimming pool, a job he lost due to his unreliability. Curro's income is supplemented through SSI.

Curro lost the use of one of his arms due to a car accident in 1988. It was revealed on the Sirius Howard 100 program Meet The Shrink that it was an alcohol-related accident, and the loss of use of his arm precipitated even more drinking.

Curro has been known to constantly abuse cigarettes, alcohol, and marijuana. In early 2005, he began taking bong hits on the air (calling on the phone from home). The resulting coughing and hacking became a hilarious soundbite used frequently on the Stern Show.

Though his first appearance was on December 16, 1998 (he won the Playboy Playmate version of The Homeless Game on the same day Elton John called in to the show, and exactly seven years to the day before Howard's final terrestrial/WXRK broadcast), Curro became a Stern Show regular after winning anal sex with adult film star Tabitha Stevens, gaining notoriety for his inability to become aroused due to inebriation. A humorous soundbite ensued in which Porn Star Cindy Crawford began crying hysterically after having sex with Curro.

In November of 2005, Curro got his driver's license back after years of suspension for past DUIs. Soon afterwards, he struck and killed a deer on the highway. Howard berated him for killing a creature more valuable to the planet than Curro himself.

The Wack Pack - Jeff the Vomit Guy

Jeff "the Vomit Guy" Levy has appeared on the Howard Stern Radio Show in an effort to meet women interested in emetophilia, or vomit fetish. Because of the difficulty finding willing participants for his fetish, Levy usually resorts to paying prostitutes. While on the show, women, including porn star Kendra Jade, have vomited on Levy; a practice also referred to as a Roman Shower. Levy has stated he feels this practice is normal, and that people who do not enjoy this fetish are abnormal. He is a former postal worker who now receives SSI.

Levy has also been a guest on the Jerry Springer Show and has been featured in Hustler magazine.

The Wack Pack - Joey Boots

A member of SternFanNetwork.com. Boots won a trip to Hong Kong by allowing High Pitch Eric to rub Icy Hot on his scrotum. Howard Stern mockingly referred to his package as a light switch, a size metaphor which Howard Stern On Demand footage supports. In Boots' defense, the proximal combination of Icy Hot, High Pitch Eric (in drag as Kelly Clarkson) and a pair of scissors would be enough to cause significant shrinkage in all normal human males.

The Wack Pack - John the Stutterer

John the Stutterer, not to be confused with Stuttering John, first appeared on the Howard Stern Radio Show as a contestant on a dating game with the Dahm Triplets. He won the contest and has been a member of The Wack Pack ever since due to his severe stuttering and nervousness. John is unemployed and relies on SSI because of his stuttering problem.

In 2004 he had several on-air fights with Yucko the Clown, who called John a "stuttering prick", while John accused Yucko of being a child molester. Stern often invites John on the show to be a judge or a guest because his stuttering and shaking are incredibly bad. Like the late Wack Packer Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, he is a master of classic rock trivia. While on the show, sound effects board man Fred Norris always attempts to make John stutter more by doing an impression of him while he's speaking.

John suffers from many psychological problems such as obsessive compulsive disorder and depression. At one point, it was intimated that the stuttering may be a side-effect of the pharmecuticals he takes. Although professionals have called the Howard Stern Radio Show to offer free treatment for John's stuttering, he has stated that he will not try to do anything about his stuttering because without this problem, he would have no excuse for his failures in life. Recently he has gotten into the porn industry.

The Wack Pack - Junior the Farter

To try and sum up one man's life in a single sentence is difficult, if not impossible, but Junior the Farter is, simply, the greatest farting machine who ever lived.

The Wack Pack - King of All Blacks

AKA Lenny Hamm (possibly Hand?) New Jersey garbage man, frequent Stern caller. Claims to be only black homeowner in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood. Moen faucet enthusiast. Notoriously known for his ability to discuss a fancy lifestyle and critique other African-American wack packers for their lackluster style, taste, and overall class. Recently was given his own show on Sirius Howard 100 (Sirius Satellite Radio) but was cancelled after only a few episodes for not being able to emulate his call-in persona. Also known for beating his wife (possibly schtick) and then bragging about it on the air.

The Wack Pack - King of All Messengers

The Wack Pack - Mary Ann from Brooklyn 1

A frequent caller who is obsessed with Howard. Due to the sound of her simultaneously gravelly and whiny voice, whenever she calls, Fred plays sounds of crows cawing. When not calling Howard's show, she is a 47 year-old homemaker who lives with her son Patrick (age 22), daughter Nicole (age 13) and husband (name and age unknown).

She also likes to sing the line, "All I need is Howard in my life". Between her voice, her telephone line and her lack of musical talent, even that one line becomes a trainwreck.

The first time Stern and the rest of the show met her in person, they were shocked to discover that she's relatively attractive.

The Wack Pack - Melrose Larry Green

The Wack Pack - Miss Howard Stern

Andrea Brooke Ownbey, former table dancer who won the title of Miss Howard Stern. She has held the title for several years because no one wants to lose her. She is memorable for her trademark baby voice. Miss Ownbey is known for her low IQ-- which, at a score of 88, is just above the retarded level (though she did win a trivia contest against Wendy The Retard)-- and poor self-esteem, which many on the show fear will lead her to ruin her looks with excessive plastic surgery.

The Wack Pack - Nicole Bass

The Wack Pack - Ponce de la Phone

The Wack Pack - Siobhan

(pronounced Sha-Vhan) A transgendered or transsexual person who occasionally guests on the program.

The Wack Pack - Wendy the Retard

Wendy the Retard lives in Deltona, Florida and is a frequent guest on the Howard Stern Radio Show. She is an adult living with her parents, and suffers from mental retardation like fellow Wack Packer Gary the Retard. She enjoys bumper bowling and singing along with pop songs karaoke-style in her bedroom. As part of her on-air telephone calls, she answers "yes" to whatever questions Howard asks, no matter how outrageous, insulting or sexual. Based on her recent conversations with Daniel Carver, she may also be a racist, or just highly impressionable. Wendy is also known for her inconsistent ability to pronounce difficult words. Wendy lost to Ms. Howard Stern in a trivia contest, and her family lost to Daniel Carver's in Wack Pack Family Feud.

The Wack Pack - Yucko the Clown

Roger Black, better known as Yucko the Clown, is a foul mouthed, insult comedian who dresses up like a clown. Black is a street performer who has been the runner up in two of Stern's contests; losing to the Reverend Bob Levy in the World's Meanest Listener contest and losing to Richard Christy in the Win John's Job contest. No person is safe from his dirty clown jokes as he will insult anyone based on their physical appearance, religious belief, or anything that can be made into a joke.

Black often wears clown makeup, including the signature red clown nose, which he'll "honk" whenever he insults someone on the show. While still part of the Stern Show, Black was the star of a sketch comedy show titled Stankervision which aired on MTV2, but was not renewed for a second season.

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Adapted from the Wikipedia article "Current Members", under the G.N U Free Docmentation License. Please also see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki

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The Wack Pack - Current Members

The Wack Pack - Current Members: Encyclopedia II - The Wack Pack - Current Members

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The Wack Pack: Encyclopedia II - The Wack Pack - Current Members