Sanyasi: Grihastha vs Sanyas - The Eternal Dilemma

By Seema Burman

Grihastha vs Sanyas: The Eternal Dilemma

Once, a king asked his guru: Who is superior, a sanyasi or a householder? In response, the guru took him to a kingdom where the king had announced that his daughter's husband would be given half the kingdom. The princess chose a sanyasi , who refused to marry her. Even after the king offered his entire kingdom, the sanyasi walked away. The guru and his king-disciple followed the princess, whom they found crying in the forest where the sanyasi had disappeared. Hungry and lost, the three lit a fire for warmth.

Suddenly, a family of birds jumped into the fire, offering themselves to the trio as food. The guru pointed out that either path is ideal, provided it is followed with complete devotion. An ideal sanyasi is never tempted by material gain, and an ideal householder would sacrifice himself for others, like the birds.

Indian scriptures divide life into four stages - brahmacharya (student life), grihastha ash-ram (householder's life), vanaprastha (preparation for sanyas ) and, sanyas (total renunciation). A grihastha lives in the griha (home), earns money, gets married and brings up children. To prosper, say the scriptures, the married couple must see to each other's happiness and share their possessions with others. At the same time, they must devote themselves to realising the Divine Self by keeping the company of holy people ( satsang ), serving others, and reading shastras . An ideal grihastha life would prepare one for vanaprastha by developing detachment.

In sanyas , desire for wealth, name and fame, as also pride, anger, greed, fear, attachment to children and friends is to be renounced. This is the time to devote oneself wholly to god-realisation. In ancient India, however, sanyas right after brahmacharya was also approved of. Those who were able to renounce material attachments early in life due to their desire to seek the Truth, were not required to go through the other stages.

According to the Manu Smriti , however, the grihastha ashrama is laudable since the grihastha supplies the material needs of the other three ashramas. But the sanyasi also performs an important duty, that of finding his Divine Self and guiding others to do the same.

Chaitanya Mahaprabhu had several householders as devotees whom he enabled to develop detachment even while living in the world. Likewise Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, who gave the example of the tadpole who lived in water because of its tail, but when the tail disappeared, it became a frog and could live anywhere. Drop your tail of ignorance, advised Ramakrishna, and become a free soul.

In the Hitopadesha, it is said that a person with worldly attachments will be troubled even in a forest, while he who has his senses under control will attain spiritual discipline even while living in the world.

In the Mahabharata there is a story of a sadhu , Kaushika, who was doing tapasya when a bird defecated on him. Angry, he reduced the bird to ashes. Later, when he went begging for alms, a woman asked him to wait as she was taking care of her sick husband. Kaushika got angry. Seeing this, the woman said calmly: "I know you are a great yogi . You killed a bird just by looking at it. But wait a while, let me do my duty.'' She advised him to go to a butcher for instruction on dharma .

The astonished Kaushika decided to go to the butcher, who welcomed him saying he knew why Kaushika had come. He took the sadhu home and asked him to wait while he served his parents. He then gave a discourse on the aim of spiritual advancement, which is to discipline one's senses. He who can do this, whether sadhu or householder, is the true spiritual aspirant.