Love and Happiness: Limitless Love Is Free Of Bondage

By MEENAKSHI BANA

Detachment is not renunciation. It is a re-orientation of attitudes and lifestyles. It is a creative endeavour that involves a shift in consciousness. Free-flowing consciousness helps us reach a state of creative calm.

According to Sri Aurobindo , when one withdraws from the turmoil of outer life, the evolving consciousness becomes centred and observant like a detached witness or sakshi . The witness state, sakshi bhav , is a continual disassociation from worldly desires and sense-identification. It is a state of neutrality that goes beyond body and mind to communicate with the spirit.

Most techniques of self-mastery advise us not to escape from life but to live it intelligently with selflessness and detachment. We must accept responsibility for our circumstances and learn from experiences and events, and then rise above the situation. This way we can relate to circumstances without losing our balance. Then we can go through life unaffected. Being centred, yet non-attached, is an art. To correct the imbalances and disturbances in thought and behaviour, simply observe yourself objectively.

It is not necessary to be judgmental, it is enough to be objective. Be a neutral observer and notice the quality of your experience, but don't get caught in self-criticism or self-approval. This process of self-study eventually leads to detachment.

Non-attachment is the vairagya that precedes anuraag , the flowering of divine love and bliss. To achieve the latter, sage Patanjali recommends sustained practice through elimination of emotional reactions to individuals and situations.

Involution initiates evolution. To cope with the demands of the present, we have to shed the burden of the past and chase away the demons of the future. Destressing techniques emphasise the need to bridge the gap between our real self and the projected self.

Detachment does not mean shirking responsibility or lack of sensitivity. On the contrary it is an attitude of pure love, bereft of emotional bondage. Rituals help in chitta shuddi or self-purification. They are important during spiritual infancy and must be gradually dispensed with. Obsessive observance of rituals can itself become a hindrance. Pursuing moksha must not become a bondage. In Vivekachudamani, Shankara has cautioned precisely against this.

To be detached at home and in the workplace , we must become meditative in action. Just remember the wheel. Its rapidly moving outer rim represents the restlessness of the outer world. The centre of the wheel is your internal stability that integrates and controls.

When you are overwhelmed by thoughts, emotions and events, withdraw into your centred calm. The centre can be a mantra, an awareness of breathing or any other reference point. Go through the activities of the day by being aware of the hub and not the rim. Detachment at the workplace would translate into greater focus and efficiency. Detachment at home would lead to harmonious relationships.

Remember to distinguish between entertainment and relaxation. Has life become a choice between workaholicism and a frantic search for diversions? Let relaxation be a renewal, when delicate sensibilities resurface to flourish into art, music and philosophy. On a daily basis, meditation is the best mini-vacation, when one can escape into one's sacred inner space.

Mahatma Gandhi recommended cultivating silence as a means of detachment and renewal. Silence nourishes the spirit. Possession is limiting, detachment is liberating. In the Bhagavad Gita Krishna explains to Arjuna that with the growth of knowledge and inner purity, actions become effortless and selfless. Worthy actions performed selflessly ultimately lead to liberation ( moksha ). The individual self becomes the ultimate self.

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See also: Love and Happiness, Life and Beyond, Death and Dying, Body Mind and Soul

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