I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: Encyclopedia II - I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue - Participants

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue - Participants

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue - Chairman

The chairman (except for a few episodes in the first series) is Humphrey Lyttelton, generally referred to as "Humph" and regarded as a national treasure. He reads the script introducing the programme and segments in an utterly deadpan manner. He claims the secret is just to read what is in front of him without understanding why it is funny. He adopts the grumpy persona of someone who would really rather be somewhere else, which he attributes to worrying that, surrounded by four professional comedians, he would have nothing worthwhile to chip in. He does occasionally depart from the script, however, often bringing the house down with an ad-lib. He is credited by the regular panelists as being the chief reason for the show's longevity.

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue - Panellists

The regular panellists for much of the show's history were:

• Graeme Garden was a member of the I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again team that the programme grew out of and has been a panellist since its first episode. Lyttelton describes him as being very dry, biding his time before stepping in with a perfect punchline.
• Barry Cryer hosted three episodes in the show's first series before moving into a permanent seat on the panel. He is credited by the chairman as being the show's "bricks and mortar", providing quickfire one-liners in any situation. There is a running joke in the programme that he is a dirty old man with a drink problem.
• Tim Brooke-Taylor was also part of the I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again team and has also been with the show since the start. He is very popular with the crowd and adopts a vulnerable persona.
• Willie Rushton was one of the regular panel members from 1974 until his death in 1996. The other panellists have fond memories of his off the wall sense of humour and quick-fire puns.

Guest panellists have appeared on the show when one of the regulars was unavailable and also replacing Willie Rushton after his death in 1996. These have included:

• Bill Bailey
• Max Boyce
• John Cleese (who was a regular panel member during the first series in 1972)
• Denise Coffey
• Jack Dee
• Kenny Everett
• Stephen Fry
• Andy Hamilton
• Mike Harding
• Jeremy Hardy
• Tony Hawks
• Harry Hill
• John Junkin
• Phill Jupitus
• Fred MacAulay
• Paul Merton
• Neil Mullarkey
• Ross Noble
• Linda Smith
• Bill Tidy
• Sandi Toksvig

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue - Musical Accompaniment

Colin Sell usually provides musical accompaniment to some of the games. He is often the butt of jokes making fun of his piano-playing, which he takes in good part. For example:

"When music experts hear Colin's compositions, they say he could have been another Berlin, Porter, or anybody else employed by the German State Railway."

or

"We've just heard some great news - I'm very pleased to announce that the BBC have arranged a special collection of Colin's entire work... they've bagged it up and the council are sending some men round for it on Tuesday."

Guest pianist, when Colin Sell has been double booked and the "ISIHAC" team have "won the coin toss", has been former Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band member and Monty Python collaborator Neil Innes or occasionally Denis King or Matthew Scott. Humph's band have also appeared on a special occasion.

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue - Commentary

Raymond Baxter has occasionally been drafted to commentate on sessions of Mornington Crescent.

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue - Scorers

Since May 11, 1985, there has been a scorer "whose job is eased by the fact no points are actually awarded". This scorer is a fictional character who only exists to parody other panel games (such as Just a Minute) which employ scorers. This role is usually filled by "the lovely Samantha". Samantha is perhaps a reference to Samantha Fox, who was a famous Page Three girl at the time.

At the start of the programme and when introducing appropriate rounds Humph will tell the listeners what Samantha has recently been doing. These comments have made the show notable for including far more and far ruder innuendo and double entendre than the BBC would ever broadcast on television in a similar early evening timeslot, although the show's standard response to this is that any humour exists solely in the listener's mind. Early in Samantha's career on ISIHAC a letter appeared in the Radio Times protesting at her sexist and humiliating treatment on the programme.

Examples include:

"She's looking forward to going out for an ice cream with her Italian gentleman friend. She says she's looking forward to licking the nuts off a large Neapolitan."

(By way of explanation, "Neapolitan" could be taken to refer to a type of ice cream or a native of Naples.)

"She's become quite friendly with the two elderly archivists, Jack and Arthur. They've recently gone part time, so Samantha's come to a working arrangement. She does the paperwork, Arthur gets her forty-fives out, and Jack's off all afternoon."

(By way of explanation, "forty-fives" could be taken to refer to 45 rpm vinyl records or Samantha's ample 45-inch bosom; and "Jack's off" can be heard as "jacks off", a slang expression for masturbation).

One last example, which will receive no explanation, shows the extent to which the BBC allows these observations of Samantha's activities:

"In her spare time, Samantha likes nothing more than to peruse old record shops. She particularly enjoys a rewarding poke in the country section."

When Samantha has been "unavailable" (often when female competitors take part in the show), her role has been filled by the Swedish stand-in scorer Sven, or occasionally another substitute, Monica.

Humph was once heard asked by a fan at a jazz performance whether or not Colin Sell and Samantha were real; he replied, "Well, Samantha's real."

A regular feature on the programme, always preceding the game Mornington Crescent is the fictional letters section, always containing one letter. This usually begins with Humph sarcastically hyping the number of letters (for example, "I notice from the sheer weight of this week's postbag, we've received a little over no letters"). The letter each week is from a "Mrs Trellis of North Wales", an idiosyncratic and prolific correspondent to the chairman. Her incoherent letters usually involve her mistaking Humph for another Radio 4 presenter or media personality, and are read out to much amusement.

"A Mrs Trellis of North Wales has written in to complain that the show has "an enormous fistful of rampant innuendo rammed into every crack", but only a truly filthy-minded person would think such a thing."

"Dear Mr Titchmarsh: This morning I went out to dig up some dandelions and a giant hogweed on my lawn. The filthy beast! Yours faithfully, Mrs Trellis."

"Dear Mr Melly: Here's a great tip for removing any annoying little hairs that collect in the bath plughole: tempt them up with a carrot and pull them out by their long floppy ears."

Adapted from the Wikipedia article "Participants", under the G.N U Free Docmentation License. Please also see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki