Forgiveness: Encyclopedia - Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a choice the forgiver makes to let go of resentment held in the forgiver's mind of a perceived wrong or difference, either actual or imagined. As the choice of forgiveness is made in the mind of the forgiver, it can be made about any resentment, whether toward another, oneself, a group, a situation or even one's God. Forgiveness of another can be granted with or without the other asking for forgiveness. Some believe the choice of forgiveness is only properly exercised if forgiveness is requested. Another view is that forgiveness is a gift the forgiver gives to oneself to free their mind of resentment. Forgiveness does not entail condoning the wrong or difference that occasioned the resentment.

Forgiveness can be seen as a religious or spiritual value. However, belief in a deity is not necessary for forgiveness. It can be motivated by love, philosophy, appreciation for the forgiveness of others, empathy, or personal temperament. Even pure pragmatism can lead to forgiveness, as it is well documented that people who forgive are happier than those who hold grudges.

Forgiveness - Religious and spiritual views of forgiveness

Forgiveness - Christianity

Forgiveness is recognized in Christianity as a spiritual gift. Spiritual forgiveness does not necessarily have any connection with material or financial forgiveness. One may spiritually forgive another, yet expect that the other should still make material or financial amends. God is believed to be the source of all forgiveness, which is made possible through the suffering and sacrifice of Jesus.

John Wesley, founder of the Methodist movement, stated that forgiveness is an "...act of God the Father, hereby, for the sake of the propitiation made by the blood of his Son, he 'showeth forth his righteousness (or mercy)...". 1 With the Protestant Reformers, Wesley argued that forgiveness is the ground of the Christian life 2.

For more on Christian concepts of forgiveness, see:

• Matthew 6:14
• Atonement
• Atonement (Governmental view)
• Substitutionary atonement

Forgiveness - Mythology

In Roman mythology, Clementia was the goddess of forgiveness and mercy.

Forgiveness - Psychological theories about forgiveness

In the last decades, forgiveness has also received attention from social psychologists. Although there is no consensual psychological definition of this concept in the research literature, many researchers assume that forgiveness is related to a pro-social change in interpersonal motivations towards another person who has committed an offense. Specifically, three changes in motivations are thought to occur when someone forgives an offender:

1. An increase in motivation to act in ways that benefit the offender or the relationship with the offender.
2. A decrease in motivation to take revenge on the offender.
3. A decrease in motivation to avoid the offender.

Forgiveness - Forgiveness deep trauma and repeat deep trauma

When we carry deep psychological hurt and trauma with us after some crisis event we are negatively bonded with the situation in which the trauma occurred. For example: we may not be able to stop thinking about the circumstances of the event. We may feel hate for someone. We may feel deeply confused and unable to explain events. As a pragmatic ( non religious ) step repeated forgiveness by way of self suggestion releases the negative bond with the one or other people that caused the trauma and allows us to become positive again.

Every day quarrelling aside, sensible people do not invite avoidable, repeat, deep trauma caused by continued wilful neglect. Where deep trauma is likely to re-visit us many people suggest proactive forgiveness while remembering the sequence of events that will lead to traumatisation. This is otherwise known practically as forgiving but not forgetting. Often this practical approach leaves us less vulnerable in the face of repeated wilful neglect, while still able to keep our internal peace.

Many people resent having to police hyper vulnerable environments as such. Further internal conflict is caused because the 'policing' represents a degree of lack of forgiveness. This situation can only be avoided ( with more forgiving and ) forgetting events to the extent that an achievable level of comfort can be attained with one or other of the people that caused the trauma.

This leads to the common conclusion that only time heals. However the process of healing accelerates rapidly with positive proactive forgiveness.

Forgiveness - The role of forgiveness in society

Forgiveness may be necessary for civilization, since without it, all wrongs would demand revenge, which may themselves be taken as wrongs requiring revenge, resulting in a spiralling escalation of retaliation, leading ultimately to utter destruction.

See also

• A Course In Miracles (ACIM) has forgiveness as its central theme.
• Apology
• Atonement (Governmental view)
• Contrition
• Mercy
• Pardon (a concept in law)
• Garden of forgiveness (under development in Beirut and at Ground Zero)

Adapted from the Wikipedia article "Forgiveness", under the G.N U Free Docmentation License. Please also see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki