Fark.com: Encyclopedia II - Fark.com - Farkisms and clichés

Fark.com - Farkisms and clichés

Fark's comments threads are often smattered with "Farkisms" or "FARK.com clichés" (essentially, in-jokes) which are an integral part of the community culture and used in myriad discussions at the website, regardless of whether they apply to the topic at hand. Many of these clichés are not exclusive to Fark. Examples include:

• / (slash) - Best thought of as a combination of "postscript" and the /me command from IRC; posts often have several rows at the end.
• Abe Vigoda - Numerous joking references are made to Vigoda, mostly about his vital status (i.e. whether he is alive or dead). The joke derives from a People article from 1982 which erroneously declared him dead. When Fark.com won the naming rights to the TD Banknorth Garden for a day, they attempted to name it the Abe Vigoda Memorial Center.
• Admiral Ackbar's "It's a trap!"
• "Asshat" - A euphemism for the NSFW term "asshole". Probably popularized by director Kevin Smith. The information on the official "asshat" etymology website is suspect.
• "Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded." or the image that accompanies this.
• "B-b-but Clinton.." - (short for "But Clinton got a blowjob in the Oval Office!") A stereotypical response of Republicans to any criticism of George W. Bush is to blame the problems on the previous administration, or to compare Bush's moral character favorably with Clinton's.
• "Bag of Antlers" - A phrase meaning a really skinny woman. Started in this thread. I.E. "Banging that chick would be like banging a bag of antlers."
• Black Baby Head - Typically consisted of an African-American baby's head superimposed in varous scenes (example).
• Bubb Rubb, the "Woo Woo" guy.
• Chuck Norris, in reference to random Chuck Norris Facts. Example: "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits." Usually include a reference to a roundhouse kick to the face.
• Domo-kun - Odd-looking Japanese TV channel mascot.
• "Do you want karate?" - Originated in this news story about a vacationing black belt-level karate instructor, and his friend, who were victims of what would turn out to be an unsuccessful mugging.
• Dr Pepper - For a very brief time, there was discussion of having Fark.com sponsored by the Dr Pepper company. When the idea of big, corporate advertising comes up on Fark, someone typically brings up the "refreshing flavor of Dr Pepper."
• "Duke sucks" - Drew Curtis is from Kentucky, and thus hates Duke Basketball with a passion because of the 1992 East Regional Final in the NCAA Mens Basketball tournament, which Duke won at the last moment in double-overtime.
• [fap fap fap] - the sound created by a masturbating male, often accompanies pictures or discussions of attractive women.
• "Finding" - from an article published by the AP that contained two pictures of looting. One showed a white couple "finding" food, while the other showed a small black boy "stealing" food. Is typically used whenever racial bias is suspected.
• Flying Spaghetti Monster aka FSM
• fnorgby - To retell an urban legend or story claiming that it happened to you. Totalfarker Fnorgby claimed that he had walked into Taco Bell, tried to pay with a U.S. two-dollar bill, and was arrested and handcuffed when the store employees accused him of passing fake money and called the police. Unfortunately, this anecdote happens to actually be a non-anonymous urban legend. Link to original thread
• France surrenders: Frequently used in news of a military nature, e.g. "US declares war on Iraq, France surrenders." A reference to the rapid surrender of France to Nazi forces in World War II. This is a variation of a theme found in The Onion's Our Dumb Century, which is a collection of fake newspaper articles supposedly published all across the 20th century. One of the jokes is that every time there's a war (World War I, II, Vietnam, etc) the words 'French Surrender' follow the headline.
• Glass Dragon - Often referred to in threads regarding discussion about gaming and geek culture, or in threads related to picking up/dating women. Originated from a Fark member who created a thread about a woman he once dated. He wanted to get her a gift for Christmas 2004, and seeing how she enjoyed fantasy literature he bought her a glass dragon. Original glass dragon thread - requires TotalFark membership to view
• Guinness bar towel - Reference to a free give away by beer company of the same name of small hand towels, most of which were never delivered. Usually used to indicate impatience over waiting, or as a statement of disbelief (e.g.: "Yea, right after I get my Guinness Bar Towel"). Original Guinness bar towel thread
• "HA! HA! guy", a.k.a. the "Laughing Quaker", or "Ha! Ha! I'm using the internet" picture. First appearing with said original message it has become increasingly popular to edit the phrase after "ha-ha" to say myriad varying thread-specific phrases (example).
• Heineken looter guy - from the semi-famous Hurricane Katrina aftermath picture.
• "Here comes the science" - originally uttered by actor Ben Affleck and actress Jennifer Aniston in L'Oreal shampoo commercials aired in the UK.
• "Hollywood is out of ideas" - typically used to ridicule the reissuance of a movie with a well-worn plot (e.g., [[1]]).
• Hot cocoa sampler box - This phrase came from a discussion on Fark regarding Christmas bonuses. One Farker claimed to have received a hot cocoa sampler box as a bonus. This led to an amusing discussion and an imaginary chain of events that led up to this hot cocoa sampler box bonus. Original Thread.
• "I, for one, welcome our new [insert thread topic here] overlords..." - from The Simpsons episode "Deep Space Homer", where an ant floating past the TV camera on the space shuttle causes TV anchor Kent Brockman to jump to the conclusion that the shuttle has been taken over by a "master race of giant space ants," and follows up by saying, "I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."
• Icy Hot Stuntaz.
• "I'd hit it" - Used to indicate approval of someone's appearance. It later showed up as the tagline of a failed McDonald's ad campaign.
• "In Soviet Russia... ": A reference to the humor of Yakov Smirnoff. This line became a cliché on Fark in order to make fun of any given topic in a thread. However, it was used so much it became unfunny, and was then censored, now filtered by the infamous Fark filters.
• "I saw a turtle." Old cliché featuring a turtle picture, was kept alive in Fark classified ads for some time. Originating as a cliché in the TotalFark Forum perhaps as early as late 2002, the picture and phrase gained wider currency in a March 2003 Fark story, and stays relatively current despite its longevity.
• "i told u i was hardcore" - accidental suicide post.
• "I Want to Believe" poster from the X-Files.
• "I work for..." this was originally posted by a Farker who claimed he worked for the US Mint, and complained about other posters jumping to conclusions about the nature of his job; the complaint was couched in painfully bland and vague terms which could be - and have repeatedly been - applied to other subjects by other Farkers. Has arguably reached the status of cliché in record time.
• "I would like to subscribe to your newsletter." - A reference to The Simpsons episode "Mountain of Madness" (4F10). Bart Simpson complained, "Sharing is a bunch of bull, too. And helping others. And what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?" to which Homer Simpson replied, "Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter."
• "Jailarity ensues." Used when writing headlines for stupid criminal stories. Jail + hilarity = jailarity.
• "Kick Her in the Box and Shove Her" or KHITBASH, the phrase taken from a Maxim interview with Avril Lavigne with the acronym appearing in a Fark discussion thread about the Maxim link.
• Killing kittens, a euphemism for masturbation, in reference to the Internet meme "Every time you masturbate... God kills a kitten."
• Kyrgyzstan - farkers who submit news stories pertaining to this former Soviet country usually leave out all the vowels in the headline.
• "Liter" (lighter), a term differentiating regular, unpaid fark.com users (subscribers to so-called 'Fark Lite') from "TotalFarkers", users of the paid service totalfark.com.
• "LOOK AT ME!!! I'm an ATTENTION WHORE!!!!" refers to an image of a young woman trying to stand on her hands at the beach while wearing a thong bikini. [2]
• "Moran": Misspelling of moron, referring to a well-known picture of a redneck holding two signs saying "Get a brain! Morans" and "Go USA", in response to anti-war activists protesting the US invasion of Iraq. The image was originally taken at a Boeing plant in Saint Charles, Missouri (a suburb of St. Louis), shortly after the war began in March 2003, and was originally posted on the web site of the St. Louis Independent Media Center. (The original article and images have apparently since been archived.) A Google image search for "morans" is a useful way to find the picture.
• French newscaster Melissa Theuriau, often in conjunction with "Got nothing."
• Missing Marine. A marine went missing in Iraq. Since then, there have been so many conflicting report of what supposedly happened, then did not happen. Eventually the headline accumulated into the like of "missing marine that was kidnapped, beheaded, not beheaded, released, not released, released to family and now in Lebanon, released to family and now in Lebanon but which that time was a hoax and then moved to in Germany says he was really abducted." The clichés has been copied once in a while. [[3]]
• Mustard Man, a picture of a large man standing in what appears to be a kitchen holding a large jar of mustard, in which he seems to have previously buried both his arms up to the elbows. Enterprising bloggers were able to find Mustard Man and determined that he is actually a Toronto comedian named Mike 'Nug' Nahrgang. See Mustard Man, Revealed! for more info on the origins of the Mustard Man photo.
• Ninja Burger.
• "Not particularly useful against an insurgency" - Accidentally started by a Farker who was attempting to illustrate (using pictures of various military vehicles) the difference between fighting an insurgency and fighting another military. The phrase was then used as a caption to various pictures that frequently had nothing to do with the military.
• "O RLY?" Owl; reached critical mass on a (Fark thread with hundreds of Photoshopped O RLY owls).
• "Old and Busted: __. The New Hotness: __." (e.g.: "Old and busted: Boobies links. New hotness: Cell porn") A reference to Men in Black II.
• "Owes me a new keyboard / monitor": used to indicate that the poster has spat coffee or a similar substance over his computer after reading a particularly funny joke. Similar to the Usenet saying 'C&C (Cat And Coffee) warning please', referring to the painful scratching that can result from bursting out laughing while having a cat on one's lap.
• Pray for Omarion- When there were terrorist attacks in London, Omarion's publicist asked the world to pray for him, disregarding the fact he was not affected by the attacks, and that thousands of others were suffering. Now is used whenever there is bad news.
• Ric Romero - An ABC reporter mocked for a news article about blogging which was written several years too late. First appeared in a October, 2005 Fark story.
• "Sammich": Usually in the context of "This girl needs a ___", referring to overly thin models in "Boobies" posts. Possibly originated by the kid in the movie 'Bad Santa'.
• "Scientists create robot to ______, find Sarah Connor."
• "Sharp Knees": Ironic comment on an attractive girl; an attempt to find a flaw in the flawless. Actually, not ironic in the least, which would be another Fark cliche, if bothered. The "sharp knees" comments are mocking those who are overly critical of the women who are posted, normally in the boobies links.
• Squirrel - The origin of Fark.com was Drew Curtis' desire to post a pic of a squirrel with big testicles.
• "Still no cure for cancer": referring to pointless scientific studies.
• "Summon Bevets": An invitation to a religious flamewar. Based upon Farker Steve B's obsessive and frequently-maligned defense of the Bible. The cliche is usually depicted as a parody of a CCG card.
• "That's racist!": The posting of an animated GIF of a young African-American boy repeatedly shouting "That's racist!" Used whenever race is brought up.
• Three steps to Profit: "Step 1: Do Something Stupid. Step 2: ?????? Step 3: Profit." This is the business plan of the Underpants Gnomes from episode 217 of Comedy Central's South Park.
• "Today's __-year old lady with __________________ brought to you by ___________." Refers to old ladies found to be keeping pets who are exotic and/or in freakishly large numbers in their small home or apartment (e.g., "Today's 85-year-old lady with 37 dogs, 25 cats, and a platypus in her apartment brought to you by Miami, Florida").
• Trifecta - Whenever a news story very similar to another very-recently-posted story appears, a third news story similar to the first two becomes anticipated.
• UFIA - an acronym, meaning "Unsolicited Finger in the Anus". It became a fark.com cliché due to a Discussion Thread on March 12, 2004, where it was featured prominently. UFIA was prominently used again when in February of 2005, Fark's creator, Drew Curtis, purchased the naming rights to the Fleet Center in Boston, Massachusetts before it became TD Banknorth Garden for the single day of February 28th, 2005: The consensus choice of Fark.com's readers was that it should be re-dubbed the "Fark.com UFIA Center". In the end, however, Boston Garden was chosen as the name. Link to original thread
• "Ugly-ass baby _____": Used to reference births of wild baby animals at zoos.
• Senator Vreenak: "It's a faaaake!". From the Deep Space Nine episode In the Pale Moonight Used to refer to political trickery or forgery, a reference to a failed attempt to deceive the character with a fraudulent document.
• "What could possibly go wrong?" - a sarcastic response to an obviously unwise situation, e.g., "Acme motor corp's new cars will feature a glass fuel tank bolted to the front of the vehicle."
• "When the oil hits the anus" (original line was "~ when the oil hits his anus.") First appeared in a comment by Fark member Le Petomane in a Fark thread that debated the consequences of drinking tea made from poison ivy leaves. Originally found in this post to the newsgroup alt.folklore.urban.
• "Where is your God now?" - an image from the "Wake Up With the King" commercial for Burger King, with an added subtitle paraphrasing Billy Crystal's parody (later referenced on The Simpsons) of actor Edward G. Robinson delivering the line, "Where is your Messiah now?" in The Ten Commandments.
• "Your dog wants ____" (original line is "your dog wants steak"). Credited to Fark submitter Dr.Fey. An anonymous Farker (Dr.Fey?) left this explanation at Urban Dictionary: "I wrote it as part of an approved Fark submission for the Japanese device. It was NOT from a commercial or one of the actual stock phrases. I repeated it on an approved Fark submission the next day for a device that supposedly translated a human baby's cries. After two approvals with the phrase, a bunch of lightbulbs went off." Although a few details are off, this corresponds with the Fark archives, which show a thread from October 8, 2002: Telepathic communication with pets. Your dog wants steak. This was followed two days later by a second thread on October 10: Inventor designs a detector that reads baby's thoughts. Your dog wants steak. This seems to make it likely that the October 8 thread is, in fact, the origin of the "your dog wants" cliche.

See also

• Recurring jokes on Slashdot
• Snowclone
• List of snowclones
• Neologism

Adapted from the Wikipedia article "Farkisms and clichés", under the G.N U Free Docmentation License. Please also see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki