Christmas: Look A Gift-horse In the Mouth - about Christmas  

By Swati Chopra  

Christmas: Look A Gift-horse In the Mouth - about Christmas  

With the Christmas-New Year festive season round the corner, we are about to spin into another frenetic round of gift-giving. The act of exchanging gifts, however, has undergone a huge metamorphosis, from a personal heartfelt offering to a commercial ritual, true to today's market mantra, which goads one to 'shop till you drop'.

'To give' may not always be the same as 'to gift', although we often take one to be a synonym of the other. In giving is included the emotion of caring for, and nurturing. Whether it is tending a love relationship like a garden or bringing up children, some of the most precious moments of our lives are ones in which we give of ourselves. When we share of our deepest selves and take care of another using our love and energy.

This is the spirit that transforms objects into 'gifts' and mithai into prasad . As the gold, frankincense and myrrh presented by the three wise men of the east to the newborn Jesus, that became sacred offerings when touched by the breath of devotion, and the fruit lovingly tasted for sourness by Shabri before she proffered them to her beloved Sri Ram. And maybe also the stick drawings we made as children and proudly gave our parents as cards. Unselfconsciously and simply, things become special when touched with love.

These days, most of us find it conveniently sufficient to give 'of our possessions', on occasions deemed special by tradition and greeting card companies. While festivals like Diwali and Id-ul-Fitr have traditionally been occasions for exchanging gifts and sweets, this list has been added to in recent years with the inclusion of Father's Day, Mother's Day, Boss's Day and so on to our gifting calendar.

These are times when we feel compelled to dip into our purses to show ''how much we care''. Corporate gift- giving is one more phenomenon that this mindset has spawned. Gifts are given as extensions of business deals, often involving an unsaid quid pro quo arrangement.

Both trends erode the natural giver who is hidden in the recesses of the human spirit. It is the part of us that rejoices in giving, that will enable us to give as freely as the flower that exhales its fragrance into the air for all to breathe. It is this natural giver that inspired us to concretise the urge to give into a religious duty: dana . If we paid any attention to it, we would find ourselves giving not because we have to or because we want something in return, but because it gladdens our hearts for we give in love.

In this sense, giving need not only be something we do for others. It can be the way in which we reconnect with ourselves, too. Like the practice of meditation, that begins by acquainting us with the deep silence that lies at the core of our being, giving can become a journey into understanding the self and its deepest year-nings. By becoming aware of why and how we would like to give, the act of giving may be transformed into a practice of mindful living.

The warts need to be acknowledged as well in this process of becoming aware, including the recognition that at times, we gift as a form of material or psychological bribe, and even as an emotional one to gain the other's affection.

We may begin this process at a very basic level, by contemplating gifts given to loved ones on birthdays and festivals. This can then be extended to other areas of one's life and integrated in acts of giving that form a part of all our lives - water to dry plants and thirsty animals, encouragement to young people trying to come into their own, care for the sick and the dying. Not only will giving in love then become the way in which we express ourselves in social relationships, it will also become the way we replenish and revere our spirit.

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See also: Christmas , Indian Festivals, Spiritual Guidance, God and Religion, Peace on Earth, Peace of Mind, Love and Happiness, Life and Beyond, Body Mind and Soul

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